Why Music Recitals Are More Important Than Practicing…

This past weekend my husband and I had 4 holiday student recitals for our music studio  Fiddlestick Music.  Each recital was jam packed with students, parents, grandparents and friends. As we were laying in bed last night I said to my husband, “It’s odd.  I don’t really feel proud of my students for how well they did on their pieces. ”  As I sat there thinking I realized what I was most proud of is that they showed up and did it!

A music recital is kind of like life.  You have to show up.  You have to be willing to stick your neck out.  You have to be willing to be vulnerable in front of lots of people.  You have to know that sharing with others is more important than the fear of not being perfect.  You have to see the bigger picture.  You have to realize that you are part of something that matters beyond your own fears.

As the students bowed after their performances I could see their confidence level blossom.   They just got up in front of people, knowing that perfection might not happen.  They realized that sharing their music with others is why we play music.  It is meant to be shared.

Somewhere in the middle of our discussion my husband started laughing and said, “Just think.  Our boys will be performing in our recitals until they are 18!”    He then went on to realize what an amazing gift that was.  A gift that didn’t cost a dime, but will change their whole entire life.

When I was 6 years old I started playing violin through the Suzuki method.  My mom, who is a musician, had me performing everywhere – churches, retirement communities, shopping malls, etc.  I understood at a very young age that music was a way for me to brighten someone else’s day and share a part of my life.  It also gave me a ridiculous amount of confidence.  Set me on a stage in front of 1,000’s of people, give me music I have never seen before and ask me to play it. Without dropping a beat, I will place my violin under my chin and go for it.  Without nerves.  Yes, without getting nervous.  Why?  Because I know that one performance does not define me as a person.  It is not about me.  It is about the challenge of new music.  There is also a beauty in it.  If you stick your neck out in front of people enough times, you realize that you can do anything.  You realize that you are sharing a gift and that performance then becomes about the experience.

Take my boys for example.  Since they are at all the recitals (thanks to both of their parents being musicians), we had them play at 2 of the 4 recitals.  At the first recital, both of them felt a little nervous.  They had never played piano before at a recital.  The first one sat down and played his piece very thoughtfully.  The second one seemed a little less nervous after listening to his brother play.  Knowing that his brother did his best, made a few mistakes and lived to tell about it, he understood that it was about sharing, not about him and each note.

In the car ride home one of our boys confidently said,  “I am glad I get to play again tomorrow.  I know I will do better.”   As we were setting up for the second day of recitals, the other son started practicing his piece with more enthusiasm than he had done in the past.

When it came time for both of them to play at the second recital, both of them confidently said their names, played their pieces and bowed.  You could see the ease.  Success!  I don’t remember if they got all the notes right, in fact, I am not sure if I hear their pieces entirely as I was chatting in the next room (our recital was in a Christmas caroling format.)  What I do know is that even though it was just one little recital, what mattered is that my boys and all of the rest of our students grew in confidence.  They got out of their comfort zone and realized that nothing bad happened.  What they did realize is that they had something incredible to contribute to society and that feeling is ultimately what builds confidence in kids and adults alike.  

A few weeks ago I had a mother say to me, “My son has really matured.  I know that music has everything to do with it.”

So the next time your child doesn’t feel like practicing, it’s ok.  But the next time they feel like skipping out of a recital because of nerves, go anyway.  They will thank you for it later…

Cheers,

Summer Joy

p.s.  What are ways that you provide opportunities for your kids or yourself to get out of your comfort zone to grow as a person?  Share your story below in the comments, I would love to hear about it!